Why friends fight? You say. Why do we? Because our decisions don’t match or because we feel alone? Well, there are a lot of different reasons for the above question. But the first thing we need to do is accept that it is completely okay to fight. We all are different human beings, our personality is different and that brings up conflicts.
Well, if you don’t fight with your friend, who are you going to fight with? Right? It’s inevitable, isn’t it? And these fights do bring us closer. Those are the times when we understand how much we really matter to one another. Believe me when I say – The closer you are, the more you fight.
Let’s just go through the most common reasons and understand why we really fight. To stop fighting (nobody wants to), we need to understand why we do the same.
10. Emotions are complicated
Emotions are complicated, aren’t they? We, humans, are complicated ourselves. We don’t always mean what we say. Sometimes, emotions get the best of us. We are sensitive. Probably we are in a bad mood, and we take that frustration out on someone who has got nothing to do with our mood. And, obviously, if someone just goes mad at you for no reason at all, you are not going to like it. And thus, there’s going to be a fight.
The thing is, emotions are always temporary. Our thoughts are temporary, they change – sometimes daily. What we need to understand is we can’t let our emotional state (which is temporary) lose us a friend who really matters to us.
Not an unfamiliar word is it? Not just in friendships, but in other relationships too. Jealousy is one of the most common reasons when we start fighting. We humans, we don’t like sharing. Be it our food, our phones, or our relationships. Don’t we get jealous when we see our favorite person hanging out with someone else? Oh, it hurts. But it’s obvious, right? We don’t just have one friend, so it’s quite normal that we would spend time with each of them. And we don’t calculate the time we spend and distribute it equally among every one of them. The sad part is, we do get hurt or hurt people in the process.
The thing we need to understand is we can’t have a human being all on our own. We can’t have all the time all by ourselves. The only thing that matters is if the person cares for you. If he/she does, you will get his/her time.
8. The Truth
The truth- sometimes can be harsh. And sometimes the truth hurts you more than the lies. We ask each other to be honest. But we can’t always face the truth, can we? The world doesn’t always speak the truth up your face, but they do so behind your back. Your friend won’t do that, they will say the truth directly to you and sometimes you don’t like it and get hurt in return. They don’t use that filter and I think that they shouldn’t.
Instead of getting hurt and turning this whole situation into a fight, you should be thankful enough to your friend for being honest. You need that in this world, believe me. Learn to accept.
Just like the truths hurt. Secrets do too, right? Even if we stay together, we all have that private life and we need that space, to be honest. But the moment you realize that the other person is hiding something from you, you are going to get disturbed. You are going to get curious, hurt, and you might not be able to handle the situation. You are going to make efforts to find that secret out and when he/she realizes that, it’s going to make him/her angry too. And there’s the fight.
You need to learn that it’s okay to have secrets. It’s okay to have a personal life no matter how much close you are to the person.
We all do get possessive at some stage of our relationships. We try to take everything under our control and take all the decisions. We then start interfering. We start complaining and then start fighting. You don’t like it when you start realizing that you are being controlled. You don’t even like it when you can’t control or own the other life. We, humans, are a mess right?
Can we really possess someone? Can we really own another human being? We do possess properties, money, cars, but we can’t possess someone else. We shouldn’t even try to. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, we need to appreciate that.
5. We are different
One more thing which is justified enough for us fighting – is the choices we make. Every one of us is unique in our own way. We are born and brought up differently, we live in different neighborhoods, a different society. We have had different childhoods. As a result, each one of us is different. We think differently, we like different things, we make different choices. And this leads to conflicts. We start fighting cause the person at the other end sometimes doesn’t make the same choices as we do.
Respecting each other’s choices is very important, especially if it’s someone close.
4. The private space
Even if we have many friends, we have a world outside of that. We sometimes need that personal space for ourselves. There are instants in every one of our life, where we like staying alone. We don’t generally want someone else to enter that space of ours. The other person may not understand that and might start thinking that he/she is getting ignored. God, that’s not healthy thinking. You are bound to fight.
Even if we need that personal space sometimes, we need to explain that to our friends that we do need some space. And it is his/her responsibility too, that he/she allows the same.
3. The third person
Sometimes, it’s not you who is responsible for the fight. It’s gonna sound strange, but sometimes it’s not even your friend responsible for your fight. It’s some third person who just starts the fire. You just need to be careful. There are such persons everywhere you see. Why do they do that? No idea, they might get fun out of it. You just need to identify these people and can’t let someone else break your friendship.
When you are in a relationship with someone and he/she is someone close to you, you need to crush that ego out of yourself. Understand that everything is not just for you. You do make sacrifices for people close to you. You need to put yourself behind sometimes. It’s because that spending more time with that person is more important to you than satisfying your ego. People leave, almost always. What matters is – who stays.
1. Well, it’s bound to happen
Like I said earlier – we spend so much time with our friends, we are bound to fight. It’s life after all. Nobody just promised you hugs, laughs, and memories. When you are in a relationship, you need to accept the hard part of it too. You fight. You fight because you are close and because you care. Sort it out. You have got lots of things to do.