Why though?

While sharing your feelings with someone can always make you feel better and “take the weight off of your chest.” Everyone has those moments where they need to confide in someone. However, boundaries should also be maintained.

Boundaries are often underestimated; they aren’t always walled that block. Mostly they are the line that gives control. Boundaries are important not only for yourself but also for those around you because anything you say affects everyone that heard it. An example of this could be the simplest of things, like sharing your health issues can color judgment, maybe your boss questions your work because of the illness. The reason, however, could be something entirely else.

“I can totally keep secrets, it’s the people I tell them to that can’t.”

 

The importance of maintaining boundaries will be highlighted throughout this article.

 

10)Looking for Another Job

Among other things that you should not be telling your boss is that you’re looking for another job. Add your co-workers to that list as well. Anyone secretly aiming for your job could use that to get you fired. This may happen if your boss isn’t the one to do it first. Say that the company is being downsized and you don’t yet have a job. They would let you go because, from their perspective, you aren’t planning to stick around for much longer anyway. Might as well let you go.

9)Your Financial Situation

Some people have it better than others, and as they say, “money is the root of every problem”. So, avoid the problem by never even looking at the root. Your finances affect only you, and so, you should let the details of it be with only you.

The people around you may get jealous of you and your wealth if you are doing better than them, which may lead to resentment and ruin your relationships. If they don’t resent you, they might start taking advantage of your finances.

Making you pay the bills of your lunches by saying things like, “Pay the bill this time, you have a lot of money, I’ll pay next time.” Or the simpler “it’s your treat!”

It may also happen that they may come to you in order to borrow money( a large sum at that), which you know will not be paid back on time. You can’t even refute your friend because they know that you are financially capable of helping them. Thus, leading to an awkward situation that will end up straining the relationship.

This situation could also be reversed. Assuming that you are in a bad financial state, your friends may start to avoid you in the fear that you may come to them asking for money.

 

Also read: Top 10 Things That Are Extremely Important In A Relationship

8)Your Helping Hand

Just like your wealth, you should also never showcase the good deeds you have done. If you do indeed do so, people will look at it like you are placing yourself on a pedestal. It will make it look like you are arrogant and self-serving. Nobody likes those qualities in a person.

Your bragging about the act might make the person in question (the person you helped) feel embarrassed and regret ever getting help from you.

Do deeds to genuinely help someone. If you are looking for anything in return, it becomes a transaction, not a helpful deed.

7)Your Weaknesses

You should know your strengths, but you should also know your weaknesses. Your weaknesses should not be divulged to anyone; this only gives people unnecessary power over you.

People may take advantage of the fact that they know of your weakness. Insecure people will always use this to either make themselves feel good or to divert attention from them.

As said earlier, be aware of your mistakes. Work on them and come out stronger.

6)The Secrets

Your weaknesses are your secrets that you should keep to yourself, but you may end up sharing them with someone. It’s only human to do so, just like someone might come and tell you their secret. Show them the same loyalty that you would want to be shown.

If you reveal people’s secrets, you not only lose the trust of the person who told you that; you also lose the trust of the person to whom you’re telling. They will think that if you are divulging someone else’s secrets, why not their own?

Don’t gossip about others; no good comes off of it. Mind your own business.

Remember the saying, “Snitches get stitches.”

5)Trouble in Paradise

The secrets you and your partner share are also pious. Scratch that; everything that happens between you and your partner is pious and so should be kept between the both of you. Complaining about your partner isn’t the best path to go down because it can create prejudice in people’s minds, especially if they don’t personally know them. A worse version of this situation is that if the person you’re complaining to actually knows your partner but doesn’t like them. They might channel their hate vicariously, taking advantage of the situation.

Once you patch things up, that complaining could back at you from our partner and from yourself. Your partner may not really appreciate the things you said, which might strain the relationship further. It could come back at you from yourself as you later realise that whatever your partner said in anger about your friends or family was just a momentary burst of stress caused by various other reasons. Still, the wrong impressions you caused may lead to further problems.

If someone did a really bad thing, like cheating, you (or your partner) might be forgiving. The fact that they made a relationship gaffe will always be in the back of the minds of the people you told, and they are likely to hold that against them.

4)Your Past

No one lives an ideal life, and subsequently, no one has an ideal past. One thing you should let be is the past. As they say, “let the past be past.” Don’t let your past actions prejudice people towards the current you. Let people see you for what you are right now.

Don’t tell your partner about your past mistakes or infidelity; it might settle in the back of their mind.

Don’t let the people you have just met know about your past shortcomings because you are better than what you used to be, and let them meet that person.

Stay in the present and keep improving on yourself.

 

Also read: 14 Dangerous Signs that you are in a Toxic Relationship

3)Familial Problems

The ones closest to you can hurt you the most. However, be rest assured that you are not the only one with familial problems. Everyone has their fair share of them. How people handle them may vary. You might get very overwhelmed and want to share all the details of the fight last night. It is advised to not do it.

However close your friends maybe, they don’t need to know everything about you and your family. While they may be true to you, the words you say might create prejudices in their minds about your family and somewhere even towards you.

If your situation is very dire, try seeking out professional help. A professional will give you more objective advice as compared to whatever “supportive things” your friends might tell. These things may even nudge you in the wrong direction.

2)Life Philosophy

There are things that you do in your private space that you feel nice about but, you know that if you were to tell your friends or peers about it, you might be ridiculed. So don’t!

Things that you enjoy are to make yourself feel good. You don’t need to explain to anyone how or why you do certain things.

Not all your friends look at things the same way you do. Your opinion may vary vastly from theirs, and bringing those out in the open could open space for conflict. It may be so that neither of your opinions is wrong, but conflict may arise just because they are different, which is unnecessary.

1)Your Goals

This is perhaps the most important one on this list. People are afraid of uncertainty, and they may pull you down in their comfort zone. Even writer and entrepreneur Derek Sivers suggests this in one of his TED talks.

Keep your goals to yourself so that you do not fall for the phenomenon of “social reality”, which basically says that once you start sharing your goals and start feeling happy with the feedback, your brain produces this feeling that you would get after actually achieving the goal. You feel like you have already achieved the goal, which will demotivate you from actually working towards that goal.

 

Your goals are something private and important for yourself. Your near and dear ones might not see them with the same enthusiasm as you; they might not be supportive, they might not react the way you expect them to. All these things can demotivate you and make you feel bad about yourself or your goals.

Everyone has an opinion about everything, don’t create a cacophony of these opinions that will only drown out the sound of your mind. The confusion and complications all this causes is not worth it.

First, achieve your dreams, and then talk about them. After all, actions speak louder than words.

 

There is nothing wrong with being an open person but divulging too much can have a backlash. Always make and respect your boundaries.